Destroy Your Cell Phone

January 11th, 2010 - Tyler - permalink

If there is one word that will always be emotionally and psychologically tied to feelings of hate, in my mind, it is “banks.” Cell phone companies are a close second.

These people have one purpose and one purpose only: to extort as much money from the unwitting public as possible.

I recently signed a two year contract with Sprint, something I’ve always been weary of. It’s a necessary evil when I’m driving the cab…for reasons of safety, contacting my trips when I arrive, locating them with GPS, and of course flooding Facebook when I’m bored. I’ve got more minutes than I’ll ever use during the day (when I’m usually asleep), unlimited text and wifi, etc…about 80 a month. Not too bad. Of course, because of my credit history I had to put down a $100 cash deposit that didn’t even go toward my first bill, but she assured me that I’d get it back at the end of the first year, as long as I paid my bill on time. And even if I didn’t, the $100 was not forfeit, it went toward the unpaid bill. Which I felt was pretty much moot anyway, since they’ll shut the fucking phone off, take the $100 and keep charging you for the monthly contract without service. Since that’s how these Nazi fucking extortion artists work. I have no sympathy for these fucking mutants or anyone associated with Sprint, Verizon, or any god damn cell phone company.

You’re all fucking dead to me, especially you Catherine Zeta Jones.

When I went to pay my first bill they tried to charge me like $10 extra because I paid in person, at a Sprint Store. Why? No reason. Because they have to do something. Them taking my money is somehow worth more than an hour’s worth of the minimum wage. The best part is, I don’t have a bank account for obvious reasons, so this is not a problem I can easily solve by writing a check. Money Order is an easy fix, but once again, that’s more money and time I have to spend just in the physical act of paying a bill. Moving on…

I got a notice in the mail today. Evidently Sprint is raising my bill $5 a month for no reason at all. That’s correct, no reason at all. I’ve paid my bill on time so far. I have not had my service interrupted (not that I really care if it is)…and these fucking white collar whores are raising my bill because I have a bad credit history. Evidently the $100 of my money that they are making interest on right now is not enough. They are charging me MORE MONEY simply because I have LESS MONEY. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?!

Of course, there is one way I can avoid this $120 charge, and the other $240 it will cost me to pay in person…get a bank account and give them my account numbers so they can automatically withdraw the outrageous bill. Then all I’d have to worry about is OVERDRAFT CHARGES!

What a great idea! Where’s my fucking gun?

Tags: Cell, Cell Phone, Destroy, fuck cell phones, fuck phones, fuck sprint, fuck verizon, Phone, Sprint, Verizon, Your