Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?

January 14th, 2010 - Tyler - permalink

Stoner Moment Number 129. Involuntarily speaking thoughts best kept to myself.

The incident took place a few nights ago at a gas station not far from my house.

For whatever reason, I’m not crazy about this one cashier there who’s about 40 and wears glasses. That really has nothing to do with it though. People with glasses are fine; as long as they are women and look like Tina Fey…but not Sarah Palin because she’s…Sarah Palin.

This guy just kind of gave me a bad vibe…he was friendly when he was trying to sell me cookies that would help win him a contest. When I jokingly gave him a hard time about it and then didn’t buy any his attitude sort of changed.

Sometime later, when I was next after a pretty long wait in line, he just dipped out for a few minutes to go take care of something else. Fucker. Something about the way he put the “register closed” sign up struck me as very passive aggressive. It’s also worth mentioning that I was carrying a couple 2 liters of Pepsi, a bag of doughnuts, an ice cream bar, and sausage biscuits…so I was clearly anxious to get up to the counter and re-organize some of that stuff. But since I didn’t know if he was going to take thirty seconds or a half hour I couldn’t commit to the now closed register. Asshole.

Anyway. Like I said I went in there again recently, just baked. To the point where I didn’t even want to crawl out of the house to the gas station, but hunger intervened as it usually does. Not much of a problem besides the laziness hurdle, and not wanting to deal with day-timers out after sunset. It doesn’t really affect my behavior 95% of the time, except in very minor and annoying ways…like constantly forgetting obvious words…

I’d ordered a few things from Vertucci’s so I was anxious to get through the line and back out to my car. Two registers going, the line moved fairly quickly, I was next in line and the guy in the glasses closed his register again.

“I fucking HATE this guy!” I said very clearly after he’d shuffled off. I slowly turned around after saying it to see the faces of the people waiting in line behind me. They looked as surprised as I was. I couldn’t help but smile “…and I don’t hate very many people…”

After about a minute the guy came back. “I’ll help who’s next,” he said.

I turned again to see if I’d get any volunteers, but then I realized how absurd that would seem and I took one giant sliding step about three yards forward into the counter and said “How’s it going?”
“Pretty good, you?”
“Awesome.”
“This it for you today?”
“Yes, thank you, very much,” I said enthusiastically.
“Have a good one,” he said, handing me my change…I tried to reply, but was about to start laughing so I just sort of pointed at him which, to me, meant “you do the same” but I can only imagine how it was perceived.