January 2012
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They're on to me...
FAP, FAP, FAP, FAP, FAP, FAP
Accidentally mash keyboard…
December 2011
63 posts
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I went in to work late last night. Four hours late was a bit much for a Friday… even for me. I needed to get a nap in, make sure I would be well rested for the big Saturday night: New Year’s Eve.
The day’s rain had turned to drizzle by the time I parked in Campustown after my first trip.
Normally, in late December, I would have been worried about it freezing overnight, but...
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Holy shit. I think I left my notebook and two books I’m reading at the motherfucking gas station. They’re either there, or in the fridge. This could be very bad news.
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7 Found Shot to Death in Texas →
It appears they had just finished celebrating Christmas. The shooter is believed to be among the dead, and police have only one lead as to motive:
The gifts had already been unwrapped and there was no iPhone. A discovery the lead detective called “Baffling. It’s complete fucking bullshit to be frank.” He went on to say that the iPhone 4s had been out for weeks and with...
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Same Jeans, Different T-Shirt: The Tyler Sutherland Story
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She was a suicidal fish flopping around on a muddy creek side
I was a hungry fisherman playing the good samaritan
I wore that piranha around my neck like a medallion of St Jude
The moment I grew accustomed to its weight
It feasted on my gullet
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So, the mini-Hank dating Becca is named fucking Tyler?!
GOD DAMN IT CALIFORNICATION! I AM SO ON TO YOU LIKE A DYSLEXIC BONO DRUG!
It’s bad enough you steal my goddamn life, you have to use my name too?
I was willing to let the stripper named Ashley-MADISON go, as a symptom of paranoid schizophrenia, but THIS?! This is too much.
You’ll be hearing from my attorneys. When I can...
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Transparent
If I were being honest, this would be called “Drunk Blogging Part 2.”
Another night at the karaoke bar. And I come home to find the season premiere of Californication waiting for me. It shouldn’t be out for another month or two. And I was only looking forward to the season finale of Dexter.
But I’m an outlaw… quick on the draw, somethin you’ve never seen...
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I’m over you like a dead leaf is over the tree
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And I am officially a huge Wes Welker fan after he yelled “FUCK!” live on CBS.
God damn it. There goes my perfect evening.
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RIP Christopher Hitchens →
A hero is dead. Rest in peace Mr. Hitchens… the world is a better place with your contributions.
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Tebowed.
I don’t care very much about Tim Tebow or the Denver Broncos, and I’ll care even less next week when the Patriots destroy them and the media shuts the fuck up about it… but my previous post yielded some negative response (as expected)… so…
I believe the proper definition for Tebowing, getting Tebowed, or any derivative associated with over-rated tool Tim Teblow, is...
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Tim Tebow is the most overrated athlete on the...
The Broncos didn’t win that game. Tim Tebow didn’t win that game. The Bears lost that game.
They gave another one away.
If you’re still one of these morons acting like Tebow is Tom fucking Brady, pull your head out of your ass. The guy got shut out at home for 58 minutes and gave the ball away twice.
The Bears coverage in the final two minutes was terrible. Denver was...
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Like most things, I really only anticipate the zombie apocalypse as an opportunity to meet women. It seems like an adaptable, charismatic, survivor could do quite well, given the right circumstances.
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“You can say black. I’m not offended.” “Why would you be offended?” “I’m half black.” “Mom was Italian…” “I know, I’m black on the inside.” “What are you up here?” (pointing to head) “A race car driver.” “What lap are you on?” “33.”
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What a fucking joke.
Poor officiating (Most notably the game changing phantom hold called on Tillman). The Chiefs suck so much. They didn’t even deserve to score in this game. Total fluke.
The Bears are the better team and a much, much better team than they showed today, even without their two best offensive players.
In conclusion, fuck CBS.
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Called it!
On Friday, I say “if there’s going to be one major upset in the NCAA on Championship Weekend, it will be Clemson over Virginia Tech.” I don’t spend much time listening to sports analysts… so I don’t know if I’m the only one who expected that… but I will take some small piece of credit for it.
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Putin on a show for the kids.