American Dropout

A lovely young lady I met at the bar licked the side of my face after I sang Closer by Nine Inch...

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 01:46:21 -0600

A lovely young lady I met at the bar licked the side of my face after I sang Closer by Nine Inch Nails. Then everybody got pregnant.

Just bought an ipod nano based on the fact that I had the song...

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 21:06:13 -0600

Just bought an ipod nano based on the fact that I had the song below stuck in my head all night at work and had no way to listen to it.

The song above was one of the first ten songs I added. Hell yes. It just played, and then faded into Maneater.

So, yeah, I finally gave into the monopoly. I really fucking hate iTunes already, since it took me an error-riddled hour to install… while I was holding my breath the entire time because if iTunes won’t install, you’re all kinds of fucked.

Video

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 20:52:11 -0600

Ever say something out of sheer, stream-of-conscious word association and not realize there are...

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 08:48:50 -0600

Ever say something out of sheer, stream-of-conscious word association and not realize there are offensive implications? This is a repeated theme throughout my life.

Someone took a picture I made...

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 07:38:00 -0600

Someone took a picture I made...:

and pissed off every teenager on reddit. (link above. I shouldn’t have to say that.)

Here’s a link to the original.

I got a Butterfinger Ice Cream Bar at the gas station on Farmington Road. I had a trip on my...

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 02:08:00 -0600

I got a Butterfinger Ice Cream Bar at the gas station on Farmington Road. I had a trip on my screen, someone needing to be picked up on Roanoke, near Methodist Hospital.

These are bad life decisions, by the way. Shouldn’t be delaying because I have a craving. But, they’re so damn good. That is, if you’re a fan of delicious flavor.

I ate it enroute. It seemed best to destroy the evidence. I think it was gone before I crossed Sheridan.

Ice cream has to be treated like a time bomb when you’re behind the wheel. It’s only a matter of time before the center will be warm enough to melt off the stick, into your lap…

When the inevitable came to pass, my left hand slipped off the wheel and caught the chocolate crunch covered meteor. For half a second I considered the situation… my hand had just been on the wheel, ew…ew, and the chocolate was beginning to stick to my palm… driving with my knee, eyes still on the road… no choice but to eat it. Jump on the fucking grenade.

I parked on Roanoke and attempted to call the customer. While I was dialing, I saw a man wearing a stocking cap and dark coat, dash up the stairwell and in the front door.

Within a minute two officers on foot followed, guns drawn.

They entered as backup arrived on the scene. There must have been eight officers surrounding the building, roughly two minutes behind the suspect. Seriously, it was Minority Report response time.

It wasn’t until I saw one of the cops step out with an AR-15 (or something like it) that I decided this trip was a waterhaul. But I gave the customer another call before I drove away just to make sure.

No answer.

“Somebody just went out the back!” one of the officers said and a few of them went sprinting toward the fleeing shadow in the alley.

I wonder if that was my customer. Fuck, was I supposed to be his hostage or getaway driver? Glad I went with my gut…

Probably not though. The man may not have even lived in that building, the door may have been unlocked because it’s divided into apartments inside, and he was just planning on going right out the back.

I’d like to believe I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

But, I’ll never really know.

EPILOGUE

Much later, after Friday evening had given way to Saturday morning, near the end of my shift, I picked up some Bradley students who wanted me to pile 7 in.

I had to say no, even with a twenty dollar offer (which was nice), and I ended up with three girls.

I told them what I’d studied, and that inevitably led to one of them asking if I’d write about them.

The answer, to that question…

in most cases, when the trip is very brief and nothing extraordinary happens, although the conversation may be somewhat interesting and pleasant…

is no.

“Yeah, if you’ll be my groupies,” I said with genuine deadpan sarcasm, “I’ll write about you.”

To my surprise, delight and dismay all in one, this was met with a unison squeal. Fuck. They paid, and left a nice tip.

So, random Bradley girls, this one’s for you.

Photo

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 00:34:58 -0600

The Knicks are scary with Jeremy Lin. You can see it in their faces in the interviews after these...

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 10:29:00 -0600

The Knicks are scary with Jeremy Lin.

You can see it in their faces in the interviews after these wins. Amare Stoudemire, Tyson Chandler, they’re all smiles when taking questions on a guy no one knew a week ago, who’s getting all the attention during a big seven game winning streak.

Why not? He seems to have prompted it.

Lin scored more points in his first five starts than anyone since the merger. Breaking that record as an un-drafted 4th string point guard out of Harvard is more than weird. It’s a close encounter.

It definitely warrants some serious media hype.

But the story is that the Knicks are scary with Jeremy Lin.

The only question is how will Carmelo Anthony respond when he returns from injury.

It’s not a matter of Anthony being selfish, or unable to coexist with Lin. I don’t think he believes in Lin.

Anthony said that Lin was playing “out of his mind, right now.” Which seemed to imply that Lin might be over-achieving. Fuck, I sure hope so.

Not only because I’m a Bulls fan, but also because he’s been playing so well that if he’s not over-achieving, at least a little, then the NBA should be questioning everything they hold sacred.

I think both are true. He’s overachieving a little, but that could mean he’s every bit as good as he appears to be.

The Knicks needed someone to score a lot of points with Amare and Carmelo out. They needed him to overachieve, and bring the team together.

Lin knew it, and just went out and did it in record setting proportion.

It sounds simple but it’s not. That sort of will is rare. It shows the guts and wisdom of a veteran… It’s a confidence that usually means you’re floating on an ocean of talent.

His shooting percentage is .500 in February. It’s difficult to over-achieve in your shooting percentage that much, since he has taken well over a hundred shots this month. It doesn’t look like he’s just a streaky shooter.

Lin makes scoring and getting into the paint look very easy… and he is primarily a true pass-first point guard and his court vision and IQ appears to be stellar.

To me, it seems obvious that Jeremy Lin is going to be one of the best point guards in the league.

The skill set he has at this point in his career suggests he’s only going to get better and more consistent with every game. His turnovers will drop off a bit eventually, and the three will fall more consistently (he may have the potential to shoot 40 to 50 percent from downtown, eventually. Because I believe he’ll take fewer and when he does they’ll be wide open looks). He may not score 25 every night, but I think he’ll average 17 points and 10 assists this season and 18 and 12 next season. Maybe more.

In that same interview, I saw at ESPN.com, Carmelo also said he still wants to be the one taking the last shot of the game with Jeremy Lin in the lineup.

Because… of course you try to go to Carmelo in that situation. But there’s also no such things as having too many guys on the floor who can hit a shot with the game on the line.

Anthony is still sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop, in my opinion. A bit of skepticism is natural… but Carmelo will learn to trust Lin when they’re on the court together and the wins keep piling up and Anthony’s getting a lot of great looks at the basket.

And he realizes that Lin is the piece of the puzzle that makes the New York Knicks a serious title contender. Scary.

To the many movies it may concern, I know about Blu-ray. I am very well informed on its technical...

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 05:31:46 -0600

To the many movies it may concern,

I know about Blu-ray.

I am very well informed on its technical superiority over DVD’s. I’m going to keep watching DVD’s anyway, so you can stop trying to sell me Blu-ray on every DVD I rent… because it’s been common knowledge for the last 5 years. Even when watching an HD-TV, I still don’t care enough to think Blu-ray.

That is all.

Just made up my own term for the Linsanity: Linvictus. I, for...

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 16:42:00 -0600

Just made up my own term for the Linsanity:

Linvictus.

I, for one, am pumped about Jeremy Lin, seemingly out of nowhere, shocking New York, the NBA, and anyone who’s been watching. I think his talent is very real and you should probably get used to hearing about him for the next decade.

The internet is methadone for relationships.

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 15:22:33 -0600

The internet is methadone for relationships.

Everyone will stop the fear. What’s going on?

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 14:51:39 -0600

Everyone will stop the fear. What’s going on?

Like the country.

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 02:31:49 -0600

Like the country.

Photo

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 18:47:55 -0600

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen in the last five...

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 03:49:02 -0600

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen in the last five minutes.

This is my favorite song to sing at karaoke.

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 02:17:46 -0600

This is my favorite song to sing at karaoke.

It’s all part, of my kitchen fant-a-sy…

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:11:00 -0600

It’s all part, of my kitchen fant-a-sy…

Bulls vs Nets tonight.

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 16:40:00 -0600

It’s a battle of point guards in tonight’s Bulls game. Deron Williams and the Nets will have another shot at Derrick Rose and Chicago.

The Bulls got the best of the Nets a month ago, and they’ll probably win by more this time around, despite the fact that tonight it’s in New Jersey.

Luol Deng will be in the line-up tonight, his second game since returning from an injury.

He is absolutely pivotal in what the Bulls do well. Rose is the superstar, but Deng makes his life a hell of a lot easier.

I’d be looking for Rose to string together a series of really strong games at this point in the season. He might bring up his scoring and assists average dramatically in the next ten games.

I had a few thoughts on the Nets guard, out of U of I, Deron Williams.

I think he’s one of the best point guards in the league, and as many have probably said before, this is an era of great point guards.

I’m a big fan of Deron Williams, and as good as he is, I believe he could be better.

When I watch him play, especially in the last two years, it seems like he is looking to score more than he used to. That could be an adjustment to having fewer offensive weapons at his disposal… but I’m seeing something a bit different.

When we’re seeing more superstar point guards out there who are more Allen Iverson and less Steve Nash, it’s easy to see why a superstar caliber point guard would try to make scoring points himself a higher priority in his game…

Deron Williams is a very good scorer, but I’m still not convinced that’s his game. He could really benefit from aiming for 14 assists before 20 pts, and obviously, so would any team that has him.

Williams is not Derrick Rose or Chris Paul. Rose sees the scoring opportunity and then uses explosive speed and body control to capitalize on it. That’s what he does best. Williams, on the other hand, seems a bit too willing to just try to work it himself and force the issue.

Williams, being more of a physical force than Rose, would find some success in that method, but ultimately, it puts Deron’s fantastic court vision on the back-burner, where it should never be.

He still could be averaging 20 a game, because thinking pass-first 90% of the time, would create more opportunities naturally for Williams to score. And then, in 10 years, we’d marvel at what a consistent, competitive monster of a player Deron Williams had become, and discussing how quickly he’ll be inducted to the Hall of Fame.

I talk to myself and I’m labeled crazy. I talk to God and I’m a moral...

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 04:43:00 -0600

I talk to myself
and I’m labeled crazy.

I talk to God
and I’m a moral authority.

And

real.

Probably.

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 04:03:00 -0600